Santa's Slaughter
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Who is responsible for Santa's unexpected demise in Henry Jareau's eyes?


_**Author's Note:**_

_**Hold on folks, this is a long note today! First, Tonnie and I would like to announce that signups for Chit Chat on Author's Corner's January Challenge-The Happy New Year's Challenge are open thru December 30, 2010. Simply swing by the forum (you can link to it thru our profile pages) and sign up with the pairing you'd like to see written and three prompts associated with the holiday. On Jan 1, 2011, you'll be assigned a random pairing (not the one you usually write) and three prompts to write by January 30.**_

_**Second, I have a question for my readers. I truly enjoyed last night's CM episode, "What Happens at Home" and the introduction of the character Agent Ashley Seaver. I intend to do some stories with her character incorporated into a pairing and I'd like to know who you guys would like to see me pair her with. I know the obvious choice is Reid, but what about Hotch or Rossi. Anybody that knows my work knows I'm a sucker for older man/younger woman pairings. So, shoot me a pm or review and let me know what you think. I think the world of you guys and value your opinions!**_

_**Just a reminder, December 25th is right around the corner. Everyone that signed up for the CM Christmas Fic Exchange, please remember your stories. We want this to be a WONDERFUL gift experience for all involved. If you have any questions, feel free to pm either myself (ilovetvalot) or tonnie2001969.**_

_**In other forum news, please check out our newest discussion thread, "Serious vs. Light - Which gets the most response?" It is a discussion of serious vs. light stories and the response they get from readers. We also have new interviews with Clarebones and musicxlife4 up for your reading pleasure.**_

_**Also please check out the discussion thread entitled, "The Fine Line Between T and M ratings". There's a great ongoing discussion there, too.**_

_**Finally, if any of you have any idea for issues/activities that you'd like to see "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum tackle in the form of discussion threads and/or challenges, please let us know. We want to bring you all some really fun threads in the New Year!**_

_**As always, thank you to every reader, reviewer, and person that favorites or alerts one of our stories. Hearing from each of you means a great deal to each of us. We truly value your thoughts and opinions. Now, on with our story!**_

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**Santa's Slaughter**

**Book Prompt: Geronimo Stilton - "A Christmas Catastrophe"**

"No!" Penelope Garcia virtually shrieked as she shook her head furiously at her best gal pal and mother to her one and only little godson. If her actions were any indication, her world was obviously well on the way to being destroyed with a passion

"I'm afraid so," Jennifer Jareau nodded gravely, meeting her best friend's furious eyes. Perhaps sharing her newest news with her best friend had not been the brightest idea she'd ever had.

"But he's too young," Garcia whimpered, her heart breaking at JJ's newest revelation.

"I agree," JJ said calmly. Hopefully if she didn't overreact, her best friend would follow her lead. She doubted it. But she had to try. It was a well known Bureau fact that Penelope Garcia's fury could rival the destruction of Pompeii if she was allowed to reach her boiling point without restrictions.

"It's a catastrophe," Garcia moaned, rising from behind her labyrinth of computers to pace furiously across the length of the office.

"I wouldn't go that far," JJ soothed, watching as the woman in front of her grew steadily more agitated, the tapping of her stilettos obviously signaling the coming explosion.

"How can you say that?" Pen yelped, her eyes widening as she stopped in her tracks, hands akimbo on her spandex-covered hips. "It's worse than a catastrophe, Buttercup! It's a Christmas catastrophe! That's like the Def-Con Four of catastrophes," she sputtered, the urge to find the culprit that had managed to corrupt the most wonderful time of her year growing by the moment. Striding toward the serene woman in front of her, Pen demanded, her eyes narrowing, "Tell me who did it, Peaches. I want a name!"

"No, you don't," JJ denied calmly, cringing as she watched Garcia's eyes darken dangerously. "Really, Garcie," she said quietly with a resolute shake of her blonde head, "You don't. If it helps, it was an accident."

"How do you accidently drop the bomb on my three year old angel's head that there is no Santa Claus?" Pen spat, each clipped word filled with righteous outrage that only a favored aunt could express.

Shifting uncomfortably in her seat under the weight of Penelope Garcia's scrutiny, JJ shook her head. "It's okay, Pen. Henry can still fully enjoy Christmas," she soothed.

"No, he can not!" Penelope countered furiously, her hands flying out in a Garcia-version of a deadly karate chop. "My little lamb is supposed to be living in childlike wonder of the mystical man that is jolly old St. Nick! Now who deprived my mini-munchkin of that innocence, Mama Bear?" Seeing JJ begin to shake her head, Penelope held up a hand. "Before you invoke your right to remain silent in the presence of the goddess, be aware that I fully intend to rip this building apart, security camera by security camera if necessary. My baby bird believed in the famed Father Christmas upon his arrival to the office earlier today, Jayje. I will find my answer. We both know it."

Closing her eyes, JJ groaned, barely resisting the urge to bang her forehead against the wall. "Okay, Pen...okay. But I want you to bear in mind that this was an accident and remember that you're the one that propagates the power of forgiveness."

"Uh huh," Pen grunted, tapping her foot impatiently, her arms now crossed over her ample chest as she kept the other woman within her laser glare. "Spill. Who confiscated Christmas from my godson? Who is responsible for Santa's Slaughter?"

Clearing her throat slightly as she realized the moment of revelation had arrived, JJ coughed, "Reid."

Blinking slowly as JJ's mumbled confession resonated in her overwrought mind, Penelope's jaw dropped. "My co-godparent dropped the ball?" she scowled, her eyebrows shooting up her forehead to collide with her hairline . "The guy that would help me raise my little monkey boy if, God forbid, you bit it...he told Henry?"

Rising quickly to block Garcia's path when she would have barreled from her office, JJ held up both hands. "It was a true accident, Garcie. Henry snuck up on Reid when he was explaining the origin of Santa Claus to the new mail girl."

"My perky peanut is no longer living in the land of Yuletide delusion because his Uncle Spencer was trying to impress some mindless twit from postage purgatory?" Penelope fumed, her cheeks flushing angrily.

"Weeellll," JJ drawled nervously, wincing as she realized that her attempts at peace were being met with weapons already locked and loaded, "I suppose that's one way you could look at it. Another way, however," she persevered weakly, "is that we can finally say that our Reid is finally taking that first valuable step toward society's version of small talk."

"I want him impeached from guardianhood," Penelope shouted, her words echoing off the tiled ceiling in the small room. "Actually, I want him shot...I'll settle for impeaching him."

"Now, Garcia," JJ chided, widening her stance as she attempted to guard the door, "It was an honest mistake and he feels horrible."

"Not yet, he doesn't!" Garcia snapped, her eyes glittering, her toes tapping rapidly against the tiled floor. "But I promise, as Bill Gates as my witness," she said, holding her right hand aloft, "he WILL feel my wrath."

Wincing, JJ shook her head. It wasn't like she wasn't perturbed with Spence herself. God knew, she was. But there was blood in Garcia's eye...and she really didn't want to replace her child's guardians. The legal legwork alone would take weeks, and right now she just didn't have that time. Besides, she was fairly positive that Hotch would kill her if she allowed one of his team to annihilate another.

"Let's all just take a beat and..."

"And what?" Penelope huffed, pacing again. "For him to suggest we slaughter the Easter Bunny for Passover dinner? Let him explain that the red color of Valentine's Day represents the blood Cupid spilled shooting his unwitting victims? Or maybe we should let him have a go at the Tooth Fairy...after all, what really happens if she can't reach the tooth under the pillow? If I know Reid, he'll have my little peach believing that she'll just reach in and steal one from his mouth!"

"Okay, Pen," JJ said evenly, arching one brow as she shook her head, "I think we might be overreacting just a tad."

"Spencer Reid just pissed all over my Christmas Parade, Jayje. I haven't began to react, over or otherwise," Garcia snarled. "My punishment shall be long...my wrath a wide-reaching arc of destruction," she promised, narrowing her eyes.

"That's what I was afraid of," JJ worried, watching as her friend moved back to her desk, sitting down with a plop. "What are you doing?" she asked anxiously, frowning as she noticed Penelope taking several deep breaths. She'd expected immediate mayhem to commence at her announcement, not this eerie calm that seemed to have pervaded the red headed woman.

"I'm channeling the red hot rage, Babycakes," Pen murmured, rolling her neck on her shoulders. "And plotting the downfall of one clueless Christmas fiend."

"Oh, God," JJ whispered, horror truly feeling her very soul. She knew that look the other woman wore and it never boded well. Never at all! "Can I take a minute to remind you that you love Spence? That we all love Spence?"

"Our dear Doctor needs to learn a lesson he'll never forget, Sweet Pea," Garcia declared resolutely, her jaw firming with conviction.

"And that is?" JJ asked with great trepidation, unease sliding down her spine.

"You do not screw with Santa," Penelope smiled as she reached for the keyboard of her computer, a new light in her eyes as she tapped frantically.

Yes, Spencer Reid was about to learn a valuable lesson indeed.

**Finis**

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_A/N 2 - Stay tuned as Penelope seeks her vengeance on our Dr. Reid in their Christmas oneshot._

_A/N 3 - I just wanted our loyal readers to know that due to real life events (my husband is deploying to the war in Afghanistan earlier than anticipated), our stories' postings may be a little sporadic, especially our core. I hope you will be patient with me during this difficult time._

_Tracia_


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